2007-07-19 13:17
A few things have changed on the home front. A change that's
made a big big "divot" in my harmonious social interaction "putting
green" has nothing to do with me. I didn't cause it, I can't control
it, and I can't cure it- even though I'm directly hit with its
horrible tsunami of tetanus infected shrapnel. Actually, I wasn't in
the room when IT happened.My good next door neighbor of 14 years, the maid of honor in my
wedding party, fellow horticulturist, trusted with each other's house
keys, we own cats who are brother and sister, who's prepared (with
gusto) the gourmet organic chow for Bob and I- an ultra close friend-
Has decided she will not be in the same room or have any further
conversation with my husband.
She really feels Bob needs to get some sort of therapy before she can
be here. She says she's been irrationally verbally assaulted too many
times, which she feels is the psychic equivalent of being hit. She
won't walk back into "that situation" when it's only a matter of time
before "it" happens again. In closing she said, "I'm sorry you don't
get it and I'm sorry it has to be like this, but I have to take care
of myself."
Ugh! That was hard to write. I didn't cry this time. I really wanted
to write it. I'm in Acceptance grief-wise, I guess. I am devastated.
Worst of all her idea to enable our friendship was for me to call her
up to say "he's gone- come on over". Oh, the deep pain; it makes me
nauseous. For better than a week after this messy mess started I
couldn't eat. I could barf now.
Last conversation we had I told her I didn't feel comfortable with
the phone call thing. I said we can visit when we run up on one
another in the yard. It hurt so much when she wouldn't come over to
share a yummy bottle of French champagne to celebrate our
anniversary. I've had nightmares- scary ones- because of this thing.
Bob is loving, generous, thoughtful, a bit kooky in the creative
discontent sense, and has a big mouth and talks a lot- I don't really
know what issue they fought about- something about space in the
kitchen. The thing is I can't imagine why for 7 years she got along
with him and now suddenly she doesn't.
Oh bother- tears fill my eyes, and I don't want my eyeliner to run.
Sniffle.
I'm going for a walk before it gets too hot. It's a bring the parasol
the sun is too intense day. See ya'll later.
PS. I'm wearing my baby pink "Stop Bitching, Start a revolution"
shirt today with an army green fatigue hip hugger mini skirt. As
usual, my buck knife is in one of the myriad pockets. Somehow it
seems to be the right uniform for the day. After all, today will be
the first time I go shop at the grocery store in I don't know how long.