2007-07-24 15:16
I wrote about this situation a few entries back. This letter is
results from some stellar clarity I perceived taking a shower last
night... Yesterday I spent much time thinking. Thoughts surfaced of lessons
I've so thoroghly absorbed in my psyche they are now embedded,
unconscious. Years ago when I was still learning how to take care of
myself, own my power, these "simple" truths were a foreign language.
The new "alphabet" required study one letter at a time. Eventually my
head was able to spell, understand, and speak one little "word". I
felt such profound relief. I thought, "How in the world could I have
survived this long not hip to this before now?" The process
fascinated me. I was told "More will be revealed."
More was revealed, so much more. Every lesson involved much effort
mentally before it finally became "second nature". Old thinking
patterns, responses and actions would reappear. Especially when
feeling stress, though it seemed goofy, thinking "I know better than
that!", that dark shadow would threaten.
One of the most important things I learned going through this
"school" was there is more depth, complexity, understanding absorbed
faster when I could recognize these ghosts for what the really are.
Don Quitoxe "tilted at windmills" fighting those shadows. He lost
"himself".
Fighting or fleeing may feel more comfortable, seem sensible and
familiar. However, accepting the shadows as your wise teacher,
instead of an evil, ubiquitous enemy, turns fear to knowledge. The
ghost guides reveal the superior path through rugged emotional terrain.
Avoiding these spectors gives them more power- YOUR POWER. Growing
bigger, more numerous, the shadows become scarier. YIKES! Facing the
"boo crew" you manifest greater strength.
I say this because you are so important to me, and we've had many
profound spiritual loving steps together as friends. I want you to
have peace and tranquility, prosperity and companionship, and most of
all, infinite love. Yesterday I could see in my mind's eye both you
and Bob tilting at the windmills! It was clear to me.
Sue, Bob is your teacher. You are his teacher. No matter what sense
that statement makes to you reading it here, from me, know that the
lesson does not go away by avoiding the teacher. The best and fastest
resolution solution is embracing the shadow's loving lesson. Wisdom,
thinking, warmth, profoundly murmuring "Aha!" is the reward!
The most lethal weapon capable of disrupting peace is in your mind,
as well as Bob's mind. The safety is off, trigger is cocked; hollow
point bullets fill the chambers and are packed with gun powder
composed of willingly relinquished personal power. The barrel aimed
at your own heart, head.
This is "playing" russian roulette; I have a hard time using the word
"play" when death finishes the game. Play Dead? Opposums do that,
but I feel great sadness losing people I love that way.
My heart is open, you are always welcome in my life.
All in Divine Order!