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beautiful pink lava erupting in this dreamstate horizon
2007-01-14 6:48 p.m.

OK. This is the second time I am typing this in. I just finished the first time when Scrappy gave the sign it was time to go out NOW. Instead of clicking the "done!" button on the bottom of the entry page I pushed "Add an entry". That was that.

I am back from a dog walk & listening to REM, the album "Green"...

Yesterday morning Bob wanted to come along for the morning walk. I didn't have much to say as we walked the hills. The past couple mornings I've shed tears. The bummer turn of events involving 2 people I love very much- My neighbor and my husband, is wreaking havoc in my head.
I wrote about this a couple days ago:
I want to be green (not the political kind, either!)

At one point he rubbed my forehead with his finger. When I asked what was on my forehead he said something like, "I hate to see you so upset" I guess I was furrowing my brow.

That morning's mourning of my friend's absence dwelled on the time she rescued my parakeet. She got out of the cage and was being pursued by Miss Juliette. Sue happened to see the flash of yellow fly past the window followed by calico cat fur. I wasn't home, so Sue let herself in saving Cijos from being a kitty snack.

I explained to Bob again I have no power to fix this situation even though I am the victim. This ugly situation needs to be worked out between them. In the meantime I feel...
more than I can process at a time, much less identify the feelings!

Bob is really upset I am upset. He went out and bought Sue a peace offering- dark chocolate, a bottle of wine, and some blue candles. He left the things at her front door. I told him apology isn't that meaningful without changing the behavior causing the hurt feelings. The effort did make me feel a bit hopeful. I haven't talked to Sue in days:(

To distract myself from this ugly thing I started my living room audio redux project. Last week after finding the coolest New Free Table for my digital projector I was ready for the work. I disassembled, dusted, moved and rewired all the gear. Amps, equalizer, DVD player, hard drives, an iMac I configured as our house music server, the network stuff hooking it all together- lots of wires! I worked on it all night,'till 6am!

The speakers aren't all done yet. I am a fuss budget with placement of wire. That includes threading them behind, under, anywhere they need to go to be invisible as possible.

I also rebuilt a small rack of components specifically to digitize some special recordings. Lots of things from my White Trash Debutant and Voice Farm days, soundtracks for pieces I choreographed for my dance company GoGoToGo, art performance, and radio stuff I've done will be available with a mouse click! Setting up that rack took a while.

I welcome the distraction. It relaxes me and the furrowed brow is gone. More will be revealed. In the meantime, first I'll click the right button then it's time for a cocktail...