2007-02-15 23:48
This is a FlashBack to 1999, just for fun:When Bob and I realized we wanted to be together forever, the
first thing he wanted was to move in with me. He stayed with me and
my room mate all the time anyway; he called his huge flat downtown
"the warehouse."
I have mostly lived with guys. Years ago I lived with one special
guy- the first one I'd ever lived with romantically. I totally believed he was my soul mate
for eternity. However, his mental illness reared its ugly head. He always used
"I'm moving out" as the panacea for all our problems.
My heart was broken, my bank account was drained. I learned some
valuable lessons. I got counseling and stopped being a textbook
codependent. It became obvious sticking together "for better or
worse" is really important as a couple.
With all this in mind, "No WAY", said I, "The only way you can live
with me is by us getting married."
I told him I wanted the commitment before I would go through the work
of learning to live with any other human being, romantic or not. My
current house mate was awesome- the best adult co-habitation partner
ever. Giving that up wasn't a casual decision.
That set him back a moment. Thoughts rushed around his head. Aside
from one of his closest friends telling him I was a good thing- marry
her!, he recalled, in our hours of conversation, that I agreed
Marshall amps would be cool end tables...
So Bob starts talking about a trip to Reno for a fly by night wedding!
I had to put the brakes on again.
"No WAY! Marriage is a family and friends celebration- they are there
to witness the ceremony, with love and good wishes. And presents as
well as presence!"
Another silent moment.
Then he asks, love filling his eyes, "How do we get this all started?"
"We get engaged first. You buy me a ring", I state.
He said, "OK".
Big hug, tearful kisses- total magic- just like in the movies!
And in the next breath he ranted on and on about the cruel DeBeers
diamond industry using young boys to cut the stones, slave labor, etc.
I responded: "I don't have to have a diamond, I've already got
diamonds. How about an emerald?"
That was cool, but what he didn't realize was emeralds are much more expensive than
diamonds. Part of his resistance to buying a ring was from his "hippy
thinking".
As it was, I was wearing a turquoise/silver ring on THAT finger- we
found it on his car antenna one night when we
were parked in a parking garage. It just happened to fit perfectly!
Eventually we discussed the style ring I wanted. We went to
jewelry stores and looked around. Bob listened very well; He had my
ring made custom at a shop down the street from his place. He himself
picked the stone out from some the jeweler bought at an estate sale.
The custom setting made for it is platinum.
Several months later the ring was finished. The last payment
was paid. He had Kiki, our future best man, come along when he picked up
the ring.
Bob had a notice in the mail that day. Something arrived for
him that would not fit through his slot- a package. After getting The Ring Bob & Kiki walked
a couple blocks to the post office.
The package was from his mom. While walking back to his place he opened it
up. It was his mother's (laboratory made, not natural) Emerald ring!
Kiki says,"what are you going to do now?"
The two of them drove 5 minutes uphill to my
house. I greeted them outside the back door with Scrappy scampering
around my feet.
Bob, being adept at slight of hand magic tricks,
talked me into taking the silver/turquoise ring off. He magically
turned it into my new beautiful emerald engagement ring. Kiki witnessed the
whole thing! What a grand surprise- I had no idea that was the day
we'd be officially engaged!
Then he did it again- Bob said he needed to "see" the ring- but this
time the slight of hand magic produced the ring his mom sent! AHHHHHHH!
I balked. He gave me my new shiny real ring back, and I told him I'm
keeping the fake, too! Pretty special day, I'd say!