Pack Rat: a compulsive person who obsessively takes possession of things they find free because: 1) it exhibits divine potential, 2) we'll need/want/love it someday, 3) perceived cash value when sold on Craigslist or E-Bay, 4) my friend will need/want/love it, 5) don't know- but it's cool!

Thing is, all those things have to be someplace in the meantime. Depending on how big the pack rat's house or apartment or storage unit is, and whoever else is using/living/sharing it, there's a finite amount of space for putting the things down.

"Down" is key. Back in the hunter-gatherer days, having a possession meant carrying it all the time. There was no where to put it down! Survival of the Fittest required being where ever the food was, which changed a lot. There wasn't any spare time, no vacation, no days off- and no pack rats.

The neolithic revolution changed that. Agriculture made it possible to survive without wandering around for food all the time. Life became more sedentary- less constant travel. People thought about things other than, "I'm hungry, what's for dinner."

Now people built shelters, had time to invent tools, create art, trade, make money, be social, get spiritual. There was somewhere to put things down. It was possible to accumulate possessions in obsessive/compulsive fashion and remain fit and survive. I believe the first pack rats appeared at this point in human history.

Half of the couple who moved apart last weekend is a major pack rat. Bob saw the pack rat unmanagability of hoarding things now needing sorted, hauling truckloads of junk to dumpsters, and stress. He said he felt very fortunate and grateful for me and my effort maintaining order in our home, and that he knows he didn't make it easy. Wow! If I wasn't already laying in bed I would have fallen down. This is historic!

One of the toughest issues in our marriage has been Bob's pack rat behavior. His profession involves work at demolition/renovation sites. This brings him face to face with many free things to gather. He would bring something home everyday!

Everyday I had to find a place to put the latest acquisition away. If I didn't, it would sit where ever he put it down when he came home- outside the back door, kitchen table, etc. Clutter is disfunctional and depressing. Piles of random stuff is not OK!

I found myself spending more and more time trying to maintain order which drove me crazy- it was messing with my art activity. Overwhelmed is an understatement for the way I felt. When I'd say something about it to Bob it went in one ear and out the other. A day or two later he'd be back at it. Argh!

In search of a solution, I'd ask a happily married (not single or divorced) friend, "How do you deal with hoarded stuff at your house?"

"Toss it out when he's at work" was the usual suggestion. I don't mess with another person's possessions without asking first. Throwing Bob's things out without permission is disrespectful in my opinion. If the things were mine it would piss me off.

The solution that worked involved setting boundaries. I want Bob to have whatever he feels is cool but I do not want to deal with it all. A couple places are designated "No Parking" areas- nothing is put down "for now" there. Treasures he brings home without us talking about it first goes straight to the Den of Iniquity. What happens in there is all up to Bob- it is his world, his chaos- not my problem.

Mini Mt. Olympus is uncluttered and peaceful. YAY!