I'm restless and felt compelled to look up the actual dictionary meaning of the word. I am wondering if that is what I actually feel! So here it is:
restless -adjective
1. characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest.
2. unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
3. never at rest; perpetually agitated or in motion.
4. without rest; without restful sleep.
5. unceasingly active; averse to quiet or inaction

Now I'm confused! "inability to remain at rest." doesn't apply, nor does "unquiet". Fact is I don't want to move a muscle or make noise. "perpetually agitated or in motion" Manic? Not today. "without restful sleep" I slept like a rock. "unceasingly active; averse to quiet" Lounged on the pillows, all sound bothers me describes my being's current state.

Scrappy barking, Bob's monologue describing what he's doing-eating-thinking moment to moment, ringing phone, visiting neighbor or two... ARGH! Being an "imploder," I don't holler curses at loved ones near. I warned Bob to Please let me be. Scrap got walked extra long to wear him out to peacefully nap all afternoon. The walk's endorphin effect lifted my unidentified mood a bit.

Then I realized, "Hey! its 2pm and I haven't eaten a thing." Being hungry is mood altering and easy to fix with a big bowl of Quaker oatmeal. About then Bob was mixing drinks. He asked "what'll it be?" I shook my head, "no thanks."

I thought again then said, "Shot of Jager and a Go Girl would be great, Honey Pie, thanks!" The shot worked but wore off too soon. "Oh well," I thought, "Jager isn't magic panacea elixir for this day. Now what?"

Those neurotransmitters swimming around the biochemical synaptic sea between one neuron and another are amazing. Our human limbic system makes it possible to feel emotion, often more than one at a time! I know having super bummy neg-out feeling rarely has anything to do with the world. It's mine all mine for better or worse till death, that's when the inbox is finally out.

In the meantime I stew in my own synapse sauce- not blaming the rest of creation for whatever. If that was true all rich people would be happy, Isn't money the answer? Or love? or more (choose your favorite) dope? My antidote of choice for whatever ails is accomplishment.

I am an accomplishment junkie! And there's no reason to worry about having that addiction- it manifests feeling happy. Yay! Now on to anther set of feelings. It's NIGHT, my favorite time. Bye!