Vision Surreal Title graphic
spacer
All about me - my profile link
older entries
Link here to the rest of my site if this was fun for you!
send me an email
My YouTube
My MySpace Profile
get your own diary- It's fun and free...
Checkout other diaries here!
beautiful pink lava erupting in this dreamstate horizon
2003-05-02 7:23 a.m.
I am glad not to deal with this being any more! peace is my castle!
Upon reflection of your hang up and all- I consider what, if anything, was inappropriate behavior on MY part.

I come up with the truth that

this is not a public place,

Bob and I have a right to a little time to ourselves-

something we find infrequently.

'J' is a more intimate friend of Bob's,

where you are a new relation for me-

that history thing goes a long way.....

I trust and favor the tried and true over time

regardless of conflicts that arise.

CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE

-how one responds to it is optional!

Time is valuable.

Squandering it in the throes of drama and conflict distract from the satisfying pursuits in life.

I find so many points of conflict in the short time I have with you. I do not find this to be true in my other relationships.

I enjoy your company, WHEN I am available to hang out...

telling you what my boundaries are is another matter-

you choose to take personally,

once again,

the choice I make for myself

to not want another person to enter MY home.

The part I had no chance to share today is that Bob and I were exhausted from spending time the evening before with another COUPLE, who were invited to spend the night. I finally put them to bed at 4:30 am, just so we could be alone and not have to talk!

Add to that

I had another girl friend coming over briefly,

and that last time she was here

she couldn't get a word in edgewise

and had to wave goodbye

over your head

because you would not allow her

the space to speak!

And you were oblivious!

I did not want a repeat of that performance.

I was not in a patient enough mood to be the referee.

I really didn't want to speak at all...

When you called I was working on rewiring my rack-

and if you have ever done electronics of that nature you would understand that interruption of any sort in one's train of thought is beyond counter productive.

so that's my story, we may discuss it if you choose,

I am not available for drama, just reasonable behavior.

Please find peace in yourself and the universe as it is,

not perceived 'approval' from others!

GOD BLESS YOU

Respectfully,

And here's letter 2- you would think that first one would have worked!

I really see no point in pursuing this tumultuous friendship-putting more energy into something that doesn't flow from the start, creates conflict and drama where there's little, if any, and involves limit setting of this nature is impossible to personally justify-regardless of apology or potential. Truth is, I like you, I was just thinking I'd call you when I got home from work to see what you were up to and all that, then not ten minutes went by before you called, and that ended that.

You paid me a great compliment in those heated words- You told me I was full of myself. Who else should I be FULL OF???? This 'insult' indicates independent, authentic, and confident actions. I like those things in others- they describe all my favorite friends, most of which are also fellow artists in one media or another. We have passionate conversations traversing spirituality, philosophy, history of art, horticulture or whatever- often with massive differences of opinion- and yet, have found the place of agreeing to disagree peacefully. That is not happening with you.

first you are victimized, then apologize, then get mad and all that-I don't want to do that to anyone by just being me. Why do you want to do that to yourself just to hang around MY house ???

It's not working, I call it quits.

maybe time will change things-but that is not this time -not now.

Take care, wishing you well...