After giving him his biscuits, I went back outside to set a sprinkler. It is supposed to be in the 90's. My cacti on the hot sunny hill are thirsty. I won't walk out into the hot sun back there. It's cool now, making it easier for dragging the hose.

The hose was in its hose pot, but coiled really weird. When I stuck my hand in there seeking the hose end I felt a huge moist slimy thing. It was a familiar banana slug feeling. When walking in the neighborhood redwood grove I always move the slugs I see on the road to the side so they won't get run over. This slug slipped off the hose and out of my hand to the ground.

Moving on in the dark, I got the hose untangled and dragged it out to the "way back". I positioned the sprinkler, hooked up the hose, made sure the right hose controls were set open. Walking back there is a chore, especially at night.

Next I headed past the hose pot to the spigot. My foot slipped on something. Oh what a tragedy! It was the banana slug. I killed it. I love those huge cool as heck slugs. This one got run over by me in the dark. I threw its squished body under the bay tree then turned the spigot for the sprinkler on.

"Oh slug, I'm so sorry" I said. Stepping on that slug made me sad, very sad. It has been a tough day and this slug episode doesn't help.

My neighbor friend's recent behavior of never ever coming around is difficult for me. She hasn't crossed the threshold in weeks, allegedly to avoid my husband. She knows his schedule, can clearly see the place he parks his car because she passes right by it to get to her place.

I'm getting the idea she's avoiding me too. The other day I waved to her as she drove by. She said hi to Scrappy. Not a word to me. Nothing.

It's been so long since I've felt these feelings. Today I took time to read so things to comfort myself. The book opened to a reading about ABANDONMENT. And GRIEF. No wonder I've felt so peculiar! Suddenly it made sense. I am in a grief process.

I've had bad dreams. I can hardly eat. Some days I am extremely fatigued- like a plug has been pulled. I found some resources online about the grief process. Abandonment by, as opposed to death of, a close person is much more traumatic emotionally. The fact this person is my next door neighbor makes it worse.

I am crushed she would not share a toast (of ultra yummy french champagne) on Bob and I's anniversary. She was our Maid of Honor, for goodness sake, how tasteless! We sleep under an amazing quilt she made for us; its pattern revealed itself to her in a dream! We have cats that are brother (ours) and sister (hers). Her sudden barely explained about-face treatment demonstrated this month is messing me up. I didn't do anything to initiate this wonky trip.