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2003-04-28 5:10 p.m. I seek evolution-beyond mere solutions. feeling righteous 
Today I left for work before 11 am, a good time (for me). the resistance is extreme, and getting out and on with it has been difficult these last few months. Never mind I have a pleasent job, make my own hours, have a cool boss- I still don't want to leave my house and pets, my artwork... I make art all the time- except for the garden and house- both of which I have help for. I work a 'straight' job 2 days a week. That two days a week might as well be a month! Whine whimper NOT. Whatever it is bedeviling me and creating the desire to "play hooky" and procrastinate around my outside obligations is beyond me. Restlessness. Vague discontent. That is why I am writing this now.I surprised myself today- after awaking @ 10 am and walking the dog, instead of sitting down to check my email- only to be distracted by an unfinished animation or image, or finding that weedy patch in the 'lower 40', the desire to get the unfinished work from last week done took front and center. Mysteriously rather than finish reading the firewire article in Electronic muscian, I got in my car and began to drive.... The day flew by- When returning home I was shocked to find it was 4:30- my husband due home any minute! So I made our afternoon "Happy Hour" drinks ASAP, changed my clothes, I had completed 1/3 of my work for the week, and it was only monday! Success! I have been praying for resolution of this difficulty. There is some untied string that this spring is being untangled deep in my head. I sure hope this week is better than the last few, it certianly started on the right foot- I detest the feeling of incompletion- the nagging thoughts that keep me from fully surrendering to the moment when I do not finish up my committments. I must remember not to beat myself up for not being perfect. Self patience is key-That's that... Until next post...
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